


Forget me

by Muggymigs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ghost Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, M/M, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29010144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muggymigs/pseuds/Muggymigs
Summary: Every year on the anniversary of Oikawa's death Iwaizumi goes to the spot where he was alive to reminisce in the memories he has of him, however this year was different.... When he got there... Oikawa's there?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 8





	Forget me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey just wanted to let you guys know that I put a lot of effort into this and also its my birthday so I hope you enjoy! :D

The moon was brightly shining and there was a thin layer of fog that could be seen during the night. The air felt suffocated and dence as sorrow filled the silence, until. Unexpectedly a door slammed shut and a man slowly walked out of his house. He was wearing an old bright teal jersey that looked worn out and he had dark spiky brown hair. The weird man was looking around at the old Christmas lights that hadn't been taken down yet in his neighborhood. His eyes scanned around landing on a house that was old and had faded paint. The rusty old lights on the house flickered green, red, however the man showed no emotion and just looked down at the dusty ground. The lights kept turning off and on spontaneously until the final moment when all the lights that were around flicked off. The man who was alone outside navigated through the darkness and fog to find “the spot.” He had been going to this very spot every single year on January 26 since forever, but everyone in the neighborhood never knew why. It was a mystery that was never solved and had many theories, however the one that most people believed in was that he just simply lost his mind. The tired old man finally found “the spot” which was in the middle of the road, he squatted brushing his hand along the ground. 

“ _This was where I last saw you.”_

The road was completely dark and the only thing that could be seen were the bright stars that looked down at the man. He then laid in the dark black street facing the lonely night sky and put his arms out to the side trying to show his contrition. The old man looked up with foolish eyes finally smiling at the little balls of light hoping to be forgiven. The ground was certainly as cold as ice, but this man couldn't help but smile when he looked up at the beaming stars.

_“Heh….. you always liked the stars, but I never saw the appeal…”_

_“I miss you so damn much, shittykawa”_

The giant grin on the man's face turned sour, he closed his eyes and whispered under his breath, “Why couldn’t it have been me?” Then after a few seconds, he gently heard a soft laugh and opened his eyes slowly in disbelief. 

“Oikawa?” He quickly jerked his head to the side to see a gorgeous smile on the good looking man. He looked even better than he did 23 years ago under the moonlight. Even though Iwaizumi hadn’t seen him in plenty of years, since the funeral, Oikawa still took his breath away. The brunette haired man was wearing a teal jersey, the same as the other man. Except the jersey was brand new which made it look like it was from high school and he wasn’t wearing any shoes. It was a wonder how this man wasn’t frozen to death in the cold night.

  
  


But still he was so beautiful, his eyes sparkled when looking at the stars almost like he was hoping for something and just received it after thousands of years. The brown haired boy who was trying to hold in his laugh looked up at the millions of stars avoiding the dark spiky haired man’s eyes. 

“Sorry…. I couldn’t hold it in, Iwa-chan.” Wet drops of water welled up in Iwaizumi. He couldn’t believe what was going on.

“Kawa…. I-” Suddenly his words stopped like someone was holding onto his throat and wouldn’t let him tell Oikawa how he felt.

“Iwa-chan? What were you going to say?” Iwaizumi tried to talk, but nothing was coming out. He tried to scream, yell, and even tried to wail out, but nothing was working. All he could do was sit back and look at Oikawa’s last moments. Oikawa noticed something was off so he turned his head facing Iwaizumi and saw giant drops of water pouring out of his eyes.

“Iwa-chan did you cry because you saw me, a beautiful angel?” Oikawa quickly grabbed Iwaizumi's shoulder, moving their faces closer together giggling. Iwaizumis heart felt like it was going to explode. He couldn't face his first, only, love and tried to push Oikawa away, but Oikawa being persistent crappykawa he wouldn’t let Iwaizumi break out of his contact.

“I know I’m pretty but you don’t have to cry like that!” Iwaizumi was forced quiet, but wanted to fire back a snarky comment. Oikawa sighed and trailed his eyes back to the stars letting go of Iwaizumi.

“Iwa do you know why I like the stars?”

  
  


_Cause they’re beautiful…just....like you._

Iwaizumi once again was trying to speak, however nothing would come out. Oikawa was staring intently at the stars, his eyes were filled with pity. As Oikawa stood there watching the lights in the night sky Iwaizumi couldn't help but find his eyes glued to Oikawa’s every move.

“It's because they remind me of myself.”

_Toru what do you mean?_

Iwaizumis face was consumed by confusion as Oikawa kept staring at the tiny bits of light.

  
  


“Did you know that some stars orbit around each other slowly coming closer, however when they get close enough they collide causing each other to be blown up and destroyed.” 

_Destroyed? Shittykawa what are you even talking about?_

Iwaizumis eyes shifted into a feeling of frustration because he still couldn’t speak and ask some questions.

  
  


“So that's why I didn’t get close to people during that time because I knew I’d eventually destroy them, just like the stars and just like I did with you.”

_you didn’t kawa.._

_I was the one who destroyed...yo-_

Iwaizumi watched the dullness on Oikawa's face as a small drop of water dripped down reflecting the light of the moon into Iwaizumi’s eyes. Oikawa wiped it away and reached upward towards the sky, never losing sight of the stars.

“I always obliterate anything I love, so because I loved you so much I decided to let you go.” 

_LET ME GO? No more like you took the easy way out and you abandoned me…. I was left alone in this crappy world_

The pain in Iwaizumi’s face couldn't even express how he was feeling as he stared into Oikawa's beautiful hazel eyes that wouldn't dare but avoid the piercing look.

“It's not your fault I left this world. I did it of my own accord and reasons. Nothing you could have said or done during this day could have swayed me.”

_I-........_

Oikawa’s hand dropped lifelessly as the wind blew causing both of them to listen to the silence surrounding them. Iwaizumi laid there on his side facing Oikawa as Oikawa avoided him and stayed watching the dark sky on his back.

“Stars are so interesting… They aren’t as close as they want us to think? They look close together on the outside, however when you look at the reality, they are actually completely isolated and alone. They look okay and pretty when you glance at them, but when you dig deeper they are completely and utterly not living up to the expectations we put up for them.” 

_But you had me…. I don’t get how you thought you were alone and who cares about other people's expectations...YOU HAD ME_

Oikawa’s usual joyful face turned into a depressing smile as he glanced at the dots in the sky. His face was emotionless and there was a tiny hint of loneliness freezing up the air.

“I couldn’t ever live up to the expectations of the people around me, so I pretended to. I pretended to be the best, to be the one that could make it to nationals. When in truth I wasn’t the one who could make us up to be something, I was just the one holding us back. I was that isolated star that couldn’t ever be good enough to meet the standards of the people watching me and that destroyed other stars while dooming myself in the process.” 

_STUPID…..DUMBASS…… SHITTYKAWA THIS IS BULLSHIT_

Iwaizumi wanted to scream and cry out how much Oikawa was wrong and how he was an idiot, a shittykawa, who deserves nothing but the world. Nothing…. Nothing but silence would come out… Then Oikawa finally turned his face to Iwaizumi, locking eyes. The light of the moon made half of Oikawa's face visible, but it stood completely still and felt forgein to Iwaizumi like they weren’t friends like he had no idea what they were now. They stared at each other through the darkness, never breaking eye contact. 

  
  
  


“Now.” Oikawa shook off the look of regret and smiled with his whole heart at Iwaizumi.

“I wish…”

“Now.”

  
  


“After all these years of not regretting leaving you.”

  
  
  


“I wish for you to forget me…..

  
  


I don’t think you understand"

  
  
  
  


"that what I did shouldn’t have felt like a burden to you.” Oikawa sat up, still never breaking eye contact with Iwaizumi. He smiled painfully while brushing his new uniform off.

  
  


“I loved you, but since I’m not here anymore you have to move on.” 

  
  


_Loved? So you don’t anymore……_

Iwaizumi slowly brought himself up, there were tears still flowing from his eyes but still that invisible hand kept Iwaizumi’s voice silent. He felt like his heart had been broken into millions of pieces because he had been waiting all these years to hopefully see and love Oikawa again but when he does… his dreams get pulled apart. 

“I’ve only ever brought you painful memories, so why are you holding on to me, just forget about me already, it's been 23 years.” Oikawa furiously looked away from Iwaizumi into the shadows.

_Kawa… forget you?_

_But how could I forget you, your gentle smile and your soft touch or how your laugh would make me forget about all my little insecurities._

_Even though I have been alive all this time, I felt like to actually live the way I wanted to_ _I needed a person who could make me feel accepted and enough._

_The only person who made me feel that way, was you._

_You were the only one who could make me feel like I wasn't obligated to be perfect, it was just you and me against the whole world._

_So when you left me alone to fend for myself in this shitty life I shut myself down and became an empty body moving on a schedule to put on a show for outsiders._

_While pretending that losing you didn’t tear and destroy my world apart, but on the inside that show was absolutely meaningless._

_After playing the part for so long I lost sight of myself and didn’t know who I was. Until I started to remember you again, then I finally realized who I wanted to be_

Iwaizumis thoughts still wouldn't come out of his mouth and all he could do was sit there and look at the back of Oikawa’s head, unable to tell him the truth.

“Iwaizumi…… bye” Oikawa, still looking away, stood up coldly and started to walk into the lonely darkness that stood ahead.

He didn’t even glance back at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi tried to stand up and run to his love, but his legs felt like they were glued to the blacktop. All that Iwaizumi could do was sit there and watch the only person that made him feel worth anything leave him forever, again.

_STUPID STUPID STUPID……._

_I’M GONNA KILL YOU_

_Shit_

He tried to scream once more, as expected nothing but silence was heard. 

  
  
  


“....”

  
  
  
  
  


“SHITTYKAWA I-” 

  
  
  


The words echoed through the empty dark street…

  
  
  


¨....forget you?

but I don’t know who I am without you….

...kawa.”

_Who even am I…. don't leave me_

_again….._

_please?_

  
Iwaizumi managed to cry out some words, however there was no response and it seemed Oikawa was already gone. Tears jerked down Iwaizumis face as he laid down looking back at the sky once more. The stars seemed duller and gloomy now to Iwaizumi. He used to watch them hopefully, however now they will never be the same. He closed his eyes because he couldn't handle the pain that the bright lights inflicted upon him. The night was silent and cold, but when the silence calmed there was a tiny whisper that trailed through the night and hit Iwaizumis ears.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Forget…..”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Me.”

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
